Are you the type of woman who gets goosebumps when you hear "Women's Circle”?
Do you think that you are strange, different or that you are not in touch with your feminine self? I'm exactly that type. I thought about what it was. So I turned to books, articles, to my various spiritual/psychological/healing teachers, shamans.
And what did I find out?
That it's completely normal. We are not the same. The American Indians (and not only them) divided gender into 4 groups - not 2 (see Navajo culture):I
t's not about sexual orientation and it's not about sexuality.
- Man (a man-man, a worrier, a real Alfa who protects and serves his community by leading)
- Woman (a woman-women, a sensitive, empathic and patient. A being who serves with her grace and feminine energy. Works with the earth, children and beauty)
- Male-female in one body (Leaders, warriors, this article is about them)
- Female-male in one body (An artistic man with understanding of deep emotions. Usually poets, musicians, singers and other)
Male-Female in one body:
Every one of us has a balance of yin and yang (female principle and male principle), but some women have more of a male element within them. These were the women who in history were hunters, warriors, rulers who ruled with a strict hand. They were women who were part of the fights, who physically excelled in various "male" activities. It doesn't mean that the "woman-woman" didn't have it, but it came more naturally to the "man-woman". "Female-female" used more "female" weapons, but "male-female" knew how to also use "male" weapons. And she did it naturally.
I'm not talking about women who behave like men. I'm not talking about women, for example, who are in higher positions or in politics and they try to be "tougher and stronger" than they really are, and then it sounds unnatural, ”ridiculous" and artificial to some.
I am the "man-woman" and I have been like that since I was little. I have a lot of “male’s” energy
I always liked to play with tanks, planes and cars (I still love cars) but also with dolls. When I was a child I always wanted to play as a warrior, but also as a princess. I had short hair and I climbed trees and played soccer, but I also liked to shop for clothes.
In this world, over time I suppressed my "feminine" self and, as a defence mechanism, brought out more of my "masculine" self. And usually not at the right moments. Because of that men were said to be afraid of me. And I became perceived as tough, extremely independent, someone that doesn’t need anyone and a woman that can handle everything by herself. But sometimes that "masculine" energy saved my life. For example in a dangerous situation where I "beat up" a guy who wanted to hurt me and my close ones.
Later I found out that being such a "strong" woman is not good. It hurts the sensitive woman in us, it exhausts and weakens us.
I set a new trend in the 90s in my school
At the university I was the first to wear sneakers and a men's jacket, tie and a skirt.
Over time, my ex-husband taught me to bring out my "feminine" self, and after a few years it started to dominate (dresses and heels and make-up and other things came). But it wasn't entirely good FOR ME either (I was repressing a part of me and was suffocating).
Over time, I found myself and balanced both my energies and am working on keeping that harmony - to be an absolute woman who also has a male’s element within her.
For us “male-women” what is difficult is to truly be feminine and also in contact with our male aspect. That is what truly means to be you, not to forget yourself and to accept your masculine self as well. To accept and learn to hold harmoniously both of them so that it becomes natural.
And why do the hairs on my back stand when I hear “women's circles” or something similar?
It is because usually the work is mainly on the female self and then my male self feels suppressed. I'm not saying it's always like that, but I'm talking about my personal experience and my own feelings. I am not the only one. I know many such women. So it’s better for us to find a group that works with both energies.
If you found yourself in this article, believe me, you are not alone and you are not the only one. And it's okay to have a bit of the “male” element within you and do not completely "fit in” to the “normal” standard.
Women, each and every one of us is strong, and a strong women can do SO MUCH. It would be a mistake to say that a “woman-woman” is weak, as many people would think. It’s not true. All Women have really strong weapons.
As they say “behind every powerful man in history there was an inconspicuous woman who played him”.
Accept yourselves and others as we are and they are.
Respect.