Why do I need a therapist?
I read somewhere that “people go to therapy to solve problems that were created by those who really do need therapy and never go”
But the question is, do we really need therapy? And who needs therapy? And why do we need therapy?
In my opinion every single person needs a therapist just as we need a teacher, just as we need a doctor. It is very good for our development. There is never a too small problem that needs to be solved. Clients would tell me “I am sorry for coming to you with such a benign problem. I believe that you have many other clients with bigger issues than mine.” But in my opinion, it is always easier to dry a drop of water, than to collect the drops during life and then solve a tsunami.
Can you imagine going to a therapist for example once a year for a mental and emotional check up? Maybe you would find a hidden problem that could be easily resolved early rather than wait till it ruts away in time and infects the whole mind and heart and influences our actions, reactions and life decisions in a toxic way. I would even go far as to have therapy classes in schools. Teaching kids for example “coping mechanisms”, “healthy self confidence”, “assertive communication”, “openness with emotions in a safe environment”, “what is bullying and what it says about the bully and what it does to the bullied person”, “what it means when someone manipulates and why” … and other important elements that will mirror actions, to understand them, to eliminate some future development of some negative traits. The class would support healing and strengthening the child’s development to become a more stable, non toxic successful human being who in the future is able to stand its ground, fight for what is right and be a strong positive influence in their community.
And who needs therapy the most?
You may be surprised at what I am about to say, but I believe you will understand and in the end agree with me. The people who need it the most are us therapists. Many of us solve issues with our clients that we don’t even realise we are prejudice off. Being neutral and having a professional distance while being empathetic, when working with clients is one of the most difficult issues and mainly when we as therapist have the same issue in our private life. We may negatively influence our clients according to our own emotional state and mindset. We are after all human beings and we do have our own issues. Some we solve and some pup up during life. That is why we need to constantly work on the problems we ourselves have at home, or at work or in any of our relationships. Being neutral is essential to support the healing process of the people that put their trust in us and it is difficult to have a professional distance from the client’s problems when we ourselves have not solved it in our own life.
I can say that working on ourselves as therapists is more essential and I would even say a must. I think it’s obligatory for us and not for the clients. It is their free decision to do so or not to do so. We should respect that whether they want to do something about their lives or not it is on them. But for us as therapist if we want to do this job it is really important to work on developing our own stable mindset, and emotional well-being.
With that we also slowly eliminate the influence of our Ego in our work. When we start reflecting on our own limitations, and we realise the topics we haven’t been able to resolve in our lives yet, we may decide with humility to pass our client to someone else who can help more. It is not unprofessional, or even a weakness to tell our clients, that this is not a topic we are able to support them in. Quit the opposite. It is better, then holding on to our Ego and doing a bad job and destabilising the mental state of our client even more.
What is the conclusion?
For all of us asking the right person for help is not weakness. It can be the bravest move you can make. Not only that, but the results end up strengthening all parties, may bring us closer and faster to our goals, lightens up our lives, makes us more professional in all fields and healthier physically and mentally.
p.s. I added a phrase “asking the right person for help”. Not everyone can help us. Sometimes the search is long and may be even painful, but I can tell you, that even the road to find the right Therapist/Mentor can be therapeutic.
Search for the article about how to find a therapist and types of therapies from Darina Szabo