Emotional Therapy
I don’t see “Bad Emotions” as negative. I don’t even see them as bad. For me and my line of work they are just symptoms of an injury of the soul. It’s not the emotion of a happening of today, but an emotional trace of a past traumatic event.
Imagine our emotions are little elves from the land of our subconscious . Anger Elf, Jealousy Elf, Envy Elf and other Elves from the family of emotions. When an incident happens, one or two knock on our door trying to tell us something. But we only hear the knocking and we start to be irritated. The more the elf is not heard, the more it shouts and bangs on the door. Since it’s the elf’s job to be seen and heard it starts to grow and gets stronger so it can achieve its goal. After a while it becomes a goblin, ugly, loud and ferocious. It can brake the door and ram into us. But because its already a Goblin its words are incoherent and loud and it takes over our whole being and it’s hard to control. It blinds us with its body and it will deafen us with its screams. The moment it became a Goblin it stays with us for years because it had a taste of control and thinks it’s the Boss of us. We even like it there, because if we are honest with ourselves, we see it as a protection from the evil outside. We get comfortable with letting go of the control. The problem is, that through the Goblin we cannot see the chaos, the destruction and the pain the Thing is causing. We also cannot see how we are suffocating and deteriorating in the small space that is left, because the air and space is being sucked by the Goblin who is now the Anger Goblin, Jealousy Goblin, Envy Goblin, Fear Goblin or other Goblin. We forget why it’s here for and why, when and where it came from.
How should it work?
For example if The Anger Elf knocks on the door. You stop and open the door. You see the Elf of anger for example and ask it, “Why are you here?”
There are man reasons, why anger comes knocking on our being. But all reasons are connected to us and the to the person who “made us angry” or to the situation. Answers differ.
** “I am knocking on the door, because you need to make boundaries, that are not there.”
** “I am knocking on the door, because this situation is reminding you of an unsolved trauma from the past that you need to solve.”
** “I am knocking on your door because this person is reminding you of another, who you really are angry at.”
…etc.
Our response should be according to the information that comes up from our subconscious. After we realise the real reason, we act accordingly. Create boundaries, solve our trauma from the past, redirect a healthy response towards the person we really are angry at … etc.
Each emotion has its own reasons and mirrors different issues within us.
** Jealousy can be an information of what we believe in is ours and it can mirror our fear of loss.
** Envy can be an act to action to attract what we want in life. When we see something we want and another has and we feel envy, instead of lingering on the emotion, we may want to work hard to achieve it for ourselves too. So Envy can be a motivator.
** Anger many times is a call for boundaries.
** Fear is a signal for danger and is there to protect us.
Trust our emotions when they tell you why they are there and then thank the Elves for their service.
They will go back calmly to where they reside, in the land of our subconscious. They are here to inform, protect, teach and make us better.
A person once told me he had a vision of a long table. Different beings that symbolise emotions were sitting around the table. He was on the head of the table. In that vision there was this feeling to never let any emotion take his place at the head. When he was the head, there was peace, the moment some other being took his place, there was chaos. So he listened to each being, gave them space and validation, but never control.
Emotions are just like fire: Great servants, but dangerous masters.
I love and respect all emotions. They are my most trusted helpers if you learn how to decode them. I use emotions In therapy I as a directive to past Trauma or Belief systems that created it. I use them to understand, where they came from and how they were created. The deepest memories are hidden behind emotions. Just like Sci fi movies use teleportation devices to teleport people to other places, I use emotions to teleport my client to their subconscious memories of past situations that influenced their life by changing their belief system.
A well known speaker named Bashar once said, “You only have one energy. You filter your energy through belief systems that generates what we call FEELINGS. Thats the direction in which it works. All feelings, all emotions generate from definitions and beliefs first. If you don’t believe something is true, you don’t have a feeling about it. For example Fear is a messenger knocking on your door saying “Hey, there is a belief system here that you are not aware of that’s not working for you. I am bringing it to your attention.”
What are some of the belief systems that create fear, anger, jealousy … etc.
** “I am not good enough.”
** “I do not deserve.”
** “I am not worthy of love.”
** “I am a bad person, bad mother, daughter, father, son.”
** “I will never be successful.” … etc.
All these belief systems come from past experiences that were deeply rooted.
So if a person tells us we aren’t a good parent and somehow it triggers our own insecurities and fears of not being a good parent, then we may get angry and defensive, or sad and depressed, or envious … etc, But its not that the other person said so, but its because deep down we believe it and we are afraid of it. If we really believed we are good parents and we know we are doing our best, then the situation will not influence us at all. There wouldn't be any strong emotions, maybe only a signal from the soul to create boundaries and step away from toxicity.
That is called self love.
I will leave you with a idea. In front of you there is a person who all the negative he says about you he puts into a box. He pack the words nicely, although they are all toxic and leaking. When he is holding the box, whose is the poison? His of course. Now he hand all these words in the box to you. Do you take it? It not, the poison stays with him, but if you react and take the box into your hands, than the toxic present becomes yours and even it you throw it away, the poison is still in your hands and is difficult to clean out.
Therapy not only teaches you to realise your emotions, their root cause and the healing of the trauma and belief system they mirror, but also should teach you how to listen to your emotions, how to value and validate them and how important they are for our lives. Not only your own, but also to maybe understand and validate emotions of others. When someone is screaming at you, you my find you realise it’s not about you, but about the Goblin that took control of that person, because the person has a trauma, that they are not solving.
Wait, wait … to understand and validate doesn’t mean it is ok and you let that person push your boundaries. No, No, No. Understanding, just means realising, it’s not about you. Let them keep the toxic, poisonous box. Let their Goblins be and walk away.